yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
