i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
