Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So vagazzling was a success
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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