That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
