You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
