Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
The air taste purple.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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