What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
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