so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
