Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
