someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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