You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
