I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
