She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
