So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Soap is not a condiment
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
And then he peed in my hair
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