Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
