they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Swine flu is the new snow day.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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