He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
