do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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