I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
