If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
