She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
