hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
