Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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