it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
