Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
