Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I forgot how hot balto sounded
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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