Yo dont text me then not text me
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
