I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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