I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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