he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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