youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
