His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
