I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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