I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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