ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
