my vag is so smooth its legendary
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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