he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
