and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
