so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
