Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Randomize
