i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
