Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
