shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
