I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
