question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
