Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
