I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
