So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
His hands were made for my vagina.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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