I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
