sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
